News that Chelsea Clinton is to receive an Impact Award from Variety and the Lifetime network for her work fighting childhood obesity is being met with wide scoffing. After all, we already have a cure for childhood obesity. It’s called puberty.

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Bill Clinton’s Girlfriends to converge on Washington: “Million Women March Planned for Trump’s Inauguration“

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Council of Europe tells British press to not report when terrorists are Muslim

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Nevada’s Catherine Cortez Masto is on the left, but check out the giddy little girl on the right.

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In Election Year 2008, I recall thinking that here we are in the middle of jihad, and yet we’re having this rather quaint national fight about race. I felt in a time warp. Eight years later, jihad has ratcheted up from al Qaeda to ISIS, and from one major attack a year to one or two a month. And unbelievably, our race war throwback has escalated to the physical and is playing out in the streets regularly, this time in Milwaukee. After almost 50 years, Charles Manson is suddenly relevant again.

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I have this friend named Phil…

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Among the flurry of support that the latest Muslim provocateur — 14-year-old faux-clock-bomb maker Ahmed Mohamed — received earlier this month was a posting by facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, reading, “Having the skill and ambition to build something cool should lead to applause, not arrest. The future belongs to people like Ahmed.”

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I moved to LA from Georgia in 2000, to pursue fame, the bitch goddess, and in the intervening fifteen years I have observed the natives, in their natural habitat. What follows is my interpretation of the ultimate LA Family. Enjoy!

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Remember the kudos that Target got last month over its employees going above and beyond by teaching a teen how to tie a tie? It’s a no-brainer that the story got some of its virility from the gush we feel, especially in racially charged times, when the helpful employees are white and the teen is black (and vice versa). But think of the kvelling that ensued — by media and Target alike — when it was learned that the black teen’s name was Yasir.

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We all had fun with it; the idea that former Olympic star turned Kardashian spouse Bruce Jenner was going to turn into a woman. What joy! The tasteless jokes and snarky comments flowed like wine.

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Do you remember back in the day when you could not go to the airport or a city park without seeing and hearing a gaggle of Hare Krishnas, singing chanting, jumping around and generally scaring the townsfolk?

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In a time when there is plenty of bad news to go around, like terrorism and police shootings and global warming, it’s good to look for positive news. Good to have the “cup is half full,” mentality.

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Steve Young encouraged Peyton Manning to be a “dictator” like Obama before a Monday Night Football game against Cincinnati. Here’s what would happen if Manning heeded Young’s advice:

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All my life I’ve been hearing people talk about their diets and frankly, it bored me to tears. I had never dieted, as I am a cardio junky, and had always burned more calories than necessary to remain reasonably thin. And then, about a year and a half ago, I got a job as a staff writer for The Arsenio Hall Show.

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In the hullabaloo last week over potential names for the new royal baby (who has since been named), the most obvious choice was left out of contention, despite all the betting taking place. (”George, James: Royal Baby Boy Names are Bet On“)

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Associated Press/Mark Baker - Prince William and his wife Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge take their shoes off before entering a mosque in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Friday, Sept. 14, 2012.

They’re positively giddy!
Black people in America figured out the following about white people a long time ago: The bigger they smile at you, the more scared they are of you.

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That is the question that Rock Cellar Magazine’s “Both Sides Now!” section tackles in the current issue. Since Obama is obviously a socialist and worse, I did the “pro” side. Meaning, yes he’s a socialist. My friend Ed Rampell, a regular contributor to the magazine, did the “con” side, since he’s a real socialist and doesn’t see Obama as the real thing. (I told him he needs to appreciate the concept of transition. Meaning, if Obama gets reelected, he’ll show Ed they really are on the same page.)

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Comic strips never really die. Charlie Brown is forever about to kick the football that Lucy is helpfully teeing up for him. Dagwood eternally gazes in rapt anticipation at a sandwich a foot high. Krazy Kat swoons in expectation of his daily brick to the head.

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So, the silver lining is, I got a new dishwasher out of the deal.

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Before us men get too excited here and begin buying large amounts of stock in Amstel light, let me clarify this recent C-Date survey. It was polled in Germany, not the United States. But, still I have a feeling that our ladies here are falling into similar numbers when it comes to their sexual motivations and habits. Why? Let me list the reasons…

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“Toronto - A local bookstore has ’sold out’ of a controversial marriage guide that advises Muslim men on how to beat their wives….its author [also] advises that ‘the husband should treat the wife with kindness and love, even if she tends to be stupid and slow sometimes.’” Stupid enough to marry a Muslim. And slow enough to not run away. [End.]

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So it turns out that Anthony Weiner’s wife is a Muslim who works for Hillary Clinton. This explains a lot. He must have figured that if she likes Hillary so much, then — like Hillary — she wouldn’t mind if he showed his pee-pee to others.

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If any administration was going to invite to the White House a rapper whose lyrics have supported a cop killer and advocated the killing of President George W. Bush, it would be this one, as demonstrated by its hosting of rapper Common at a “poetry” event.  But why should rap “music” be the preserve of thugs who preach violence.  How about a conservative rap song, like this:

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Added to the certainty of death and taxes is the certainty that the mainstream media will give virtually all the credit for the death of Osama bin Laden to President Barack Obama. As it’s shilling for Obama continues right up to the 2012 presidential election, one would eventually be led to believe it was Obama himself who burst into bin Laden’s compound and shot him. But how differently the MSM would have played it if what happened Sunday had happened during the presidency of George W. Bush. The coverage might look something like this:

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Republicans are widely expected to score big in today’s elections, but unfortunately not big enough to keep the Obama-worshiping media from spinning the results, something like this:

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Did anyone else find it interesting that Iran’s nuclear computer got hacked — and the next day Jimmy Carter checked himself into the hospital? This means that if and when Israel finally bombs Iran’s nukes, it could finally kill the man. Apparently, the news merely upset Jimmah’s stomach and he was released the next day.

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I remember in the weeks and months after 9/11 Western reporters were having the same problems whenever they went to mosques to interview imams or whoever else was relevant to a story — and the young boys in the mosques were all over the reporters’ private parts.

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The Dove  World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida scrapped its plans to hold the ultimate test of whether free speech is still safe in America this past Sept. 11: Koran-burning. Pastor Terry Jones succumbed to criticism from all quarters: Democrats, Republicans, the public, and all their Islamic masters. But it’s natural that everyone was so upset. After all, this is the Muslims’ holy book we’re talking about. I mean, can you imagine burning a German’s copy of Mein Kampf? [End.]

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Isn’t that kind of like the KKK getting extra protection on Hitler’s birthday? 

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Over the weekend Chelsea Clinton married her fiance Marc Mezvinsky, whose father is a former Iowa congressman and convicted felon who served several years in prison for defrauding investors out of 10 million dollars. I’d call that Keepin’ it Clinton! [End.]

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