Before us men get too excited here and begin buying large amounts of stock in Amstel light, let me clarify this recent C-Date survey. It was polled in Germany, not the United States. But, still I have a feeling that our ladies here are falling into similar numbers when it comes to their sexual motivations and habits. Why? Let me list the reasons…
Let me tell you a story about a girl that you have never even heard of before. I never knew she existed until late last night. Now, I will never forget her name and face for as long as I live. My soul has been deeply touched in a way it has rarely been moved until now. But, for Susan and I, it is too late…
Today, the agent for Peyton Manning was instructed to open negotiations with the Denver Broncos for the purpose of signing the quarterback to a multi-year deal that could be worth $60 million dollars. On the surface, John Elway, the general manager of the Broncos looks like a genius here. Manning is a lock for the NFL Hall of Fame. He is known for bringing his former team, the Indianapolis Colts, to nine straight playoff appearances and a Super Bowl victory. He is an 11-time Pro Bowler and has won the MVP award four times. Denver is incredibly blessed to have this champion except for the elephant in the living room. A very BIG elephant.
The newswire just delivered a stunner. Davy Jones of the Monkees died today of a heart attack. He was 66 years old. I liked him and their music. They were the Beatles Lite. They were fun. They were goofy. They sang the kinds of songs we all could sing along with and smile when we did it. The Monkees were my Generation’s Milli Vanilli. But, eventually, they learned how to play their own instruments and became credible.
As I read the details of the beauty salon slayings I was sickened to my stomach. Not only did Scott Dekraai take out his ex-wife but seven additional, innocent people as well. To further prove his evil, we now know he was also a coward. When arrested, he had several guns in his possession, was wearing a bullet-proof vest and surrendered meekly to the police for fear of being shot himself. What a man he is, huh?
A man died this week. He was 47 years old. He was not famous. TMZ never wrote about him. He was never invited to the White House to meet the President. He spent most of his time in a small office stocked with pastry and fruit juices when he wasn’t running back and forth to a school gym or coordinating lunchtime activities. But, there was something charmingly unique about him. I knew that from the first time I saw his shining eyes and warm smile. His name was John Sawaya and he was my friend.
In 1972, I was a youth pastor and speaker to young people freshly assigned to the Seattle area as my new area of ministry. When I arrived there, I knew no one. I felt a stranger in a strange land. I was looking for inspiration and direction. I was a bit lost. Little did I know my life and my level of faith was about to dramatically change. God led me to a young man named Wes Johnson whose mother was unlike anyone I had ever encountered in my lifetime. If you have ever wondered what the phrase means, “A gift from God,” I can tell you from the essence of my heart that it became real on a Tuesday afternoon just before dinner time in mid-September.
Watching Charlie Sheen melt down is not funny nor should it continue to be publicly newsworthy. Like a man caught in a trap of his own making, it is painful to see the tiger blood slowly drain out of him as he screams from the bloody shackles gripping him. Watching his incoherent rantings and ravings has evoked a spectrum of emotions from the American people: anger, disgust, revulsion, criticism, horror and a judgment that he needs to get what he deserves. Well, he deserves help. If he doesn’t get it soon, Mr. Sheen will die a tragic death like his fragile predecssors, Marilyn, Elvis, Jimi and…well, this list seems abysmally endless.
ESPN is trumpeting their new toy. “UConn Women chasing history! One more game and they pass UCLA’s 88 game winning streak!” I have seen absurdity in my lifetime but this ranks at the top of the heap. Women breaking a MEN’S record? Please. There is no basketball record here. Nothing that is recognized by a legitmate and documented sports data base. This is a contrived record initiated and promoted by the basketball media, spearheaded by its favorite prostitute, ESPN.
After reading the latest rambling casserole of venom dished up by Maureen Dowd I can see why she is so angry. I would be angry too if my President was a hapless nitwit who couldn’t maneuver a sandwich out of a brown paper bag. Lady Dragon Dowd somehow believes that the problem is not her liberal idols she shamelessly sucks up to but the rising stars of the Republican party who happen to be more of a woman than she ever aspired to be.
My best friend in high school and college was Mike Burke. Like many of us in the 60’s, he was a rebel. He had long, blond hair, loved the Beatles and charmingly caused trouble wherever he went. He was the leader of our pack. They say there is nothing more dangerous than a 17 year-old boy. Mike was the literal definition of that truism. He led us into more trouble than can be imagined, from seducing all the freshman girls to high speed chases with the police to eventually getting most of us to try drugs. But, it could have been a lot worse had it not been for his saintly mother, Wanda.
Living proof that the Democrats really are as dumb as their mascot was verified at the National Governors Conference in Boston this past weekend. They were not happy with their head jacksass, Baracky O and his socialistic administration that has contempt for any states doing something more effective than them. Braying like a runaway herd at Arizona, they thundered into Federal Court to slap a suit on the Grand Canyon State which threw the rest of their ilk into a tizzy. Here’s the problem:
Unless you were camping on the planet Pluto this past week, you undoubtedly saw or heard about the Lebon James HISTORIC decision making special on television. Millions of words have already been written about the announcement and an equal number of lives were (supposedly) economically affected by it in Ohio and Florida. In the interest of public sanity, I hereby offer a summation of what Lebron was saying to everyone by his Wayne’s World media lollapalooza,“Screw you, I’m a great basketball player!” There you have it.
Her birth name is Corie Elizabeth Hurley. But, she prefers to be called Anastasia Hurley, which is her Orthodox saint’s name. She is the reason I never became a priest. I wanted to be married so I could have a child. From the moment she entered this world on September 19, 1984, she has dominated my heart and my life. I have never loved anyone as much as Corie Beth. Sweet, kind, intelligent, sentimental, relentless, loves the underdog, vulnerable with a smile that lights up everyone around her, she is the most memorable person I know. I love my daughter beyond words. And, I have not seen or heard from her in three years. I do not expect Father’s Day tomorrow to change that fact. I will pretend it is just another day.
As the most boring of all major sporting events snakes its way into my ESPN consciousness, I call my Time Warner guy and immediately increase my movie channels. There has to be a way to enjoy watching paint dry with a ball bouncing around. But, how? Read on…
UPDATE: The father of Abby Sunderland admitted today that he had a television deal in the works with a production company entitled, “Adventures in Sunderland” about his daredevil children. “I’m broke and I signed a contract to do a reality show.” he confessed to the New York Post. Abby also plans to write a book about her experience now that others have rescued her and paid for it. I see the apple does not fall far from the tree…
I read a news story this morning that made me choke on my breakfast. As a human being and one who is concerned about other people it made me nervous. As the father of a daughter, I felt my heart in my throat…
My article on Tiger Woods and his accident was meant to be partly in fun before I found out the facts about what happened. When I did, I pulled the article. I was speculating he was involved in a spat with the Mrs. Tiger and it was fun to get the jump on the truth of that. Now however, it is no longer fun. This is not a tabloid story, it is a tragedy.
Well, the great promise to bring the 2016 Olympics home to Chicago was, in the words of Bob Uecker, “Just a bit outside!” Truth be told, it missed by a mile. Out of four cities bidding, the Windy City came in fourth. I was going to propose my hometown of Teaneck, N.J. I would have TIED them! Rio, Madrid and Tokyo beat my city, too. And, they spent a lot more of our taxpayers money for their efforts.
Look up the word, “overachiever” in the dictionary. You will see a picture of President Pleaser, Barack Obama. I do not remember, in my lifetime, a Chief Executive so consumed with making everyone happy as this guy! He is not just trying to make some changes for the country, he is trying to overhaul every major aspect of it. Take a chill pill, big O…
First, she watches her husband drool all over an intern. Then, she goes neck and neck with Obama and pulls a Barbaro. Now, as the Secretary of State, she has to endure her HUSBAND’S success in North Korea as she is trying to prove herself in Kinshasa. She must be thinking, “I don’t get no RESPECT!” Gee, I wonder why she is having trouble in life…
President Obama in his haste to defend his friend and his race spoke too quickly. He is now appropriately back pedaling as well he should. I love his idea of toasting beers with Henry Lewis Gates, Jr. and the cop who arrested him at his home. That is the politically correct way to handle things. Do it like we did it in the 1950’s. Sometimes, we get way too serious about things.
The movie, “First Knight” is one of my favorite films. The story of King Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere is a never ending legacy of romance, altruism, betrayal and honor. Until today, I always thought of this saga as a work of fiction. But, seeing it played out on the worldwide stage of the 2009 British Open, I know now it to be true. And, my heart was broken all over again watching Tom Watson in the role of a real life King Arthur.
Growing up in central California, I have fond memories of lying on the floor of my dad’s bedroom as he read, The Sporting News and we listened to the Giants game on my transistor radio. I can still hear Russ Hodges and Lon Simmons getting excited over a triple by Felipe Alou or a home run by Orlando Cepeda. And…”There’s a drive to straightaway centerfield, Mays is under it, puts it away in his basket for out number three. At the end of seven innings, Giants 7 and the Dodgers 1…” Ah, what great voices they had as I grew up with them.
I grew up on television. Television was a friend of mine. I knew television and to the television programs of today, you are no match for the television shows of yesterday. There are memorable performances and then there MEMORABLE characters that stay with us forever. Here is my list of the men and boys who are seared into television history and in our hearts forever…
The problem with most liberals is that they are not liberal when it comes to tolerating opposing views from their own. Their definition of, “politically correct” is when it is in accordance with their politics. If not, they are outraged and in attack mode. This leads one to observe that if we ever had a totalitarian state it would emanate from the left and not the right.
In 2005, a young lady from Mountain Brook, Alabama, disappeared in Aruba after getting into a car with three local boys outside a bar called Carlos and Charlie’s. Her name was Natalee Holloway. Since then, there have been massive searches for her and endless speculation on her fate. To no avail. The main suspect in the case, Joran van der Sloot, is a pathological liar who has changed his story of the night of Natalee’s disappearance at least seven times. He was the final person to see Natalee on that fateful night. The final conclusion is that she will never be found alive again. The story now is the valiant effort of a father’s love still hoping to find his little girl. Against all odds, Dave Holloway is mounting a last ditch effort to recover the body of his beloved daughter by hiring a man and his dogs to scour a pond where a witness claims he saw Joran van der Sloot that night with a missing shoe in the vicinity of the pond. It is a long shot. It is likely nothing new will be found. That is not the point.
As I cruise through life there seem to be snags, drawbacks and snares along the path as I attempt to succeed in life. I have decided to sit down and list several of these “push-me pull-you’s so I can be of assistance to you in identifying those anti-bodies that seem to trip us up along life’s way. I hope you will not only be blessed by these clever concepts but will feel free to write to me and share some of your own. Here is a partial list of the natural enemies in life:
I remember the first bulletin I heard growing up…”We bring you a special report from CBS News…”President Kennedy has been shot in Dallas, Texas.” As a news story cutting into local programming it was a beaut. Appropriate. Sensational. History-changing. It truly defined the word, “bulletin” which means, “an official statement on a matter of public interest issued for immediate broadcast.” Over the years, we have had several breaking stories that lived up to their substantial impact on all of us…
Nadya Suleman, the mother of six children who added eight more babies recently has admitted her reason for more than doubling her brood. “Quite simply, I want to start my own country!” said the former high school cheerleader. I was unhappy growing up in the United States and as I looked around the world I kept finding reasons for not moving to various locations…” She began as she explained her frustration with other nations at a press conference held in front of Disney World’s Epcot Center.
Back before there were computers, cell phones, ipods, video recorders, microwaves and even before most families had color television I had a childhood that meant the world to me. A large part of my childhood memory was a Shangri-La nestled in the north central part of Wisconsin called Clintonville. If Disneyland was, “The Happiest Place on Earth!” Clintonville was the safest place on earth, at least to a young boy growing up in the United States of America. As children, we all need a safe place to visit not only for the joy it brings us at the moment but also for the adult escape we can retreat to when our lives become frayed or filled with fear from time to time.
Before any of you older men have a heart attack or a stroke at the title of my post rest assured that Annette is still alive. She was probably your favorite Mousketeer and understandingly so. But, I was never one to trust the majority so my secret crush every week day afternoon was fixated on another pretty lass. Her name was Cheryl Holdridge and she left me speechless whenever she shouted out her name.
If you were watching CNN on New Year’s Eve like I was you were subjected to a patter of inane and self-serving comments by Anderson Cooper’s co-host, Kathy Griffin. She fancies herself as an edgy comedienne much like Pluto fancies itself as a significant planet. Both are small-minded and universally irritating. Unfortunately, Griffin has a mouth and us earthlings are forced to listen to her accidentally from time to time. This is a desperate woman not trying to save her career but attempting to build one. She has been so blatantly unsuccessful at this point that she is now resorting to using shock statements to build an audience. Unforturnately, the intellectual level she calls home is best represented by those who went to bed after mommy and daddy tucked them in with their dolls.