After many decades of suffering through the NFL playoffs and all 50 Super Bowls, usually on the losing side, here are 15 things I’ve learned about football.
The more spectacular and crucial the play your team makes, the more likely it is to be reviewed and reversed.
If your team runs a punt or kickoff back for a long gain or a touchdown, it will be called back because of a penalty.
If your team is first and ten on the opponent’s two yard line, it will run the same three plays right into the middle of the line, be stopped each time, and settle for a field goal.
If your team is first and ten in the red zone and it gets to third down, it will end up settling for a field goal.
If your team makes a great play that you know would be reversed if reviewed, the opposing team will throw the challenge flag a split second before your team can snap the ball for the next play.
If your team makes a great defensive play to prevent a pass receiver from catching the ball, loud and prolonged screaming by the opposing team’s fans will result in an official throwing a flag for defensive pass interference.
Trying to prevent a field goal by calling a timeout to “freeze” the kicker guarantees that the field goal will be successful.
If your team is way behind in the third quarter and you change channels because you can’t take it anymore but tune back in later, your team will be close, tied or ahead and you’ll have missed their scoring drives.
The player your team most relies on to win will be injured and, moments later, the sideline reporter will utter the dreaded words, “Not expected to return.”
If your team loses on a touchdown pass on the last play of the game, it will be by a player who had not caught a touchdown pass all season.
If your team needs a last second field goal to win the game, it will be the first time all season that the kicker has missed from that distance.
If your team recovers a fumble at a crucial time in the game, the opposing player who lost the ball will be ruled down by contact,
When your team is way behind in the fourth quarter and the play-by-play announcer says, “This game is far from over,” it’s over.
If your team wins the coin toss at the start of the game and lets the other team get the ball first, it will lose the coin toss if the game goes into overtime when it wants the ball first.
The team you hate most will make it through the playoffs and into the Super Bowl.
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