EDITOR’S NOTE: Having worked in radio, advertising, public relations and as a newspaper columnist, Doug Gamble is best known as a writer of humor and speech material for President Ronald Reagan — including some of Reagan’s most memorable lines in the 1984 re-election campaign — and President George H.W. Bush, and as a writer for comedian Bob Hope.
Questions for Trump
Which Middle Eastern country will you nuke first?
Have you stopped flogging your employees?
How much did you pay a hit man for a failed attempt on Rosie O’Donnell’s life?
When will you support the death penalty for overweight people?
How do you celebrate Hitler’s birthday?
How big is the picture of Mussolini you have on your office wall?
Where will you locate your internment camps to house Mexicans?
Have you ever gone to a psychiatrist for an explanation of why you’re a maniac?
How many guns are hidden in your hair?
Will undocumented immigrants who make it over your wall be killed with a flamethrower or a bazooka?
How does it feel to be a role model for the Ku Klux Klan?
How many underage girls have you had sex with?
Questions for Hillary
How about this weather?
Who’s your pick for the World Series?
Do you agree with me that you’ve never looked better?
We know you don’t bake cookies, but what kind of cookie do you like to eat?
Do you think wearing pantsuits when you’re president will start a new fashion trend?
Have you chosen what you’ll wear to the Inaugural Balls yet?
How much do you think your sincerity and honesty will be an inspiration to others?
How should your husband Bill be addressed when you’re president?
What’s the secret of all your stamina?
How long do you think it will be until a little statue of you appears on car dashboards?
How can you stand to share a stage with someone as despicable as your opponent?
Are you pleased that we declared you the winner before this debate even started?
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