Steve Young encouraged Peyton Manning to be a “dictator” like Obama before a Monday Night Football game against Cincinnati. Here’s what would happen if Manning heeded Young’s advice:
Peyton Manning will claim to be “a new kind of quarterback” who crosses all scrimmage lines, but really he’s a product of the old Chicago Bears system. He even wears the same navy and orange colors. He will promise to be a transparent leader, and that all Denver Broncos practices will air on the NFL Network.
But this will never come to pass.
Manning will claim that his college indoctrination from Philip Fulmer did not shape him in any way, even though he sat through every Tennessee Volunteers team meeting for four years.
The Broncos offense will become predictable, and every play will be run to the left.
Manning will rarely call an audible, regardless of how the defense changes. He will no longer yell “Omaha” during audibles, since Nebraska is a red state that clings to guns and religion.
The Broncos will also sign more Ohio State players, since Buckeyes are a type of ACORN.
Manning will also insist that Head Coach John Fox is replaced by John MSNBC. He will become bitter when his SportsCenter highlights include interceptions.
When defeating the Patriotic jihad led by Tom Brady, which has threatened his land since 2001, Manning will take all the credit. However, after any defeat, he will shrug and say, “I inherited this mess from Tim Tebow”.
Manning will claim this often, even after winning the starting job for another season.
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