Relationships are hard. The hardest thing you will ever try to succeed at in your lifetime. The following five utterances are among the most difficult for us men to say aloud. Here we go…
“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” As men, we have bad days and on those occasions we can be edgy and easily prodded to lose our temper. If our boss has been on our case or we have a particularly frustrating day we probably should not spend a lot of time with our spouse or loved one until we have had a chance to cool off. Have a beer. Take a nap. Take a nap with Scarlett Johansson. After you calm down, soften your voice, ask for mercy and tell her you were out of line in the way you lost it. One It will make her smile. Maybe not right away. But, eventually odds are she will. If not, you always have Scarlett Johannson…
“You’re right. I’m wrong.” As men we are competitive. We love to win and hate to lose. Specifically, we like to be right and hate to be wrong especially when it comes to the woman in our life. A humorist named Rick Reynolds once stated in his one man show, “Don’t you hate it when you argue with your spouse and REALIZE in the middle of the argument that she was right and you were wrong? ‘I told you to bring home a half dozen eggs and you brought home SIX’” You lose. You may have to live with the memory that she beat you and hope she will not tell the eggs story of her victory over you every Thanksgiving at the family reunion.
“Sometimes my behavior does not always reflect my love for you.”What behavior could this be? Abusive? Get therapy and stop making excuses. Addictive? Get into rehab or a twelve step program and start making that behavior of yours reflect your love for her. Anger? You are correct, sir. That is behavior that NEVER reflects love for your spouse so lower the voice, bite your lip and stop being a jerk or you may lose the love of your life.
“Tell me what I said to hurt you.”I remember when I was married and on one occasion I began sensing after two days that my wife seemed to be angry with me. The conversation at that point went something like this:
Me: Uh, are you upset with me?
Wife: What do you think?
Me: Well, I wasn’t sure but I think I am now…
Wife: Very perceptive.
Me: So…what did I say or do to upset you?
Wife: If you don’t know, I am not telling you.
Wife: (rolls her eyes and walks out of the room)
At this point, a man is left with two important choices: the first is to just pretend it is not really a problem and go on like nothing has happened hoping it will go away on its own. Big mistake. The second is to wait awhile and try this line of conversation:
Me: I want you to start smiling again. Tell me what I need to do…
Wife: Stop putting my mother down.
Me: I can do that.
Wife: Okay. Take me to dinner now.
Don’t question her logic. Let it slide. She is smiling again. Go start the car and have a nice dinner.
“I love you.” This shouldn’t be difficult to say after you have been in a relationship for a while but it may become increasingly harder to say it CONVINCINGLY! Remember women love romance. You cannot let up here. Keep buying her flowers. Look at her. Smile warmly. Into her eyes. Then…say it. “I love you.” Yes, it may be difficult. But, she gives you a lot back for those three words. Yes, she does.
Any man can be a prince when love is in the air. But, if you can be one when it is thick with negative tension you are not just a good husband or boyfriend…YOU DA MAN! Good luck out there wherever you are. There is nothing more radiant in the universe than your lady when she is smiling. Remember that always.
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