Daily Jest by Todd Long (May 19)
By Mike Long (bio)
Drew Peterson pleaded not guilty to murdering his third wife. He then added, “We ARE talking about the third one, right?”
A 47-year-old woman in a bathing suit sent California police on a high-speed chase. The chase ended when the woman realized she couldn’t catch them.
The recession is reportedly forcing many local police departments to cut back on services. Some departments are reportedly so strapped for cash that they’re asking people to profile themselves.
There are renewed calls to stop the practice of whole body image scanning at the nation’s airports. The calls were sparked by word that Rosie O’Donnell had just booked a flight.
American Express is eliminating 4,000 jobs as part of its cost-savings plan. Those effected were reportedly told, “Don’t leave home.”
Mine That Bird failed to win The Preakness on Saturday, marking an early end to the race for the Triple Crown…and to Americans pretending to care about horse racing.
Great Moments in Jest History (From the Jesting Archives): October 6, 2005
The U.S. military says it has encountered a new type of Sunni insurgent: a largely untrained teen, also known as “McSurgent.”
New on the JTLJokes Blog (www.jtljokes.blogspot.com):
“If a Commercial Airs in the Forest…” a :30 commercial I produced about why businesses should advertise on broadcast TV instead of cable. You can also find back issues of “Give Us This Day” as well as original articles and videos.
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/jtoddlong
On a personal note: the masked man fights for justice!
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