The University of North Dakota has agreed to drop its “Fighting Sioux” mascot. From now on, they’ll call themselves “Fighting Sue” and tell everyone they’re named after Susan Boyle.Lawmakers have introduced a bill that would label satellite providers as “terrorists” if they carry “incendiary television stations.” The bill is meant to protect Americans from hate speech, terrorist propaganda and reruns of “Saved By The Bell.”
The goverment is spending $2.6 million to make sure prostitutes in China drink less while on the job. But in their defense, they’re only spending it $50 at a time.
The National Institutes of Health is sponsoring a 5-year-study to see if prostitutes in China are drinking responsibly. Well, you’d hate to see these girls doing something irresponsible.
El Monte, California police want to question an officer who was caught on tape kicking a suspect in the head after a high-speed chase. Specifically, they want to ask, “Was the suspect armed?” “Was he resisting arrest?” and “What did we tell you about looking for TV cameras first!”
A California man has been convicted of selling the body parts of cadavers donated to UCLA. Which explains why so many of their medical school graduates don’t know what a kidney is.
The city council of Reading, Ohio, has told a BBQ stand owner to put more clothing on the female mannequin he keeps in front of his store to attract business. They’re hoping the move will attract more Muslims.
Great Moments in Jest History (From The Jesting Archives): October 4, 2005
Shortly after his wife gave birth, country music singer Chris Cagle was informed the child was not his. This explains his new single, REDACTED
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