Foreign affairs experts say the appointment of Kim Jong Il’s son to the National Defense Commission could indicate he’s being groomed to be his father’s successor. Another indication? He just bought a gigantic pair of glasses at the Pyongyang Lenscrafters.
President Obama says he wants to find ways to lower the amount of unwanted teen pregnancies. Then everyone noticed Senator McCain in the room and changed the subject.
British scientists are working on a GPS system to keep the elderly from getting lost in supermarkets…instead of working on a cure for Alzheimer’s.
Kelly McGillis has confirmed long-running rumors that she’s gay. The rumors lasted so long because the headline read “Star of Top Gun Comes Out of Closet” and everyone just assumed…well…you know.
Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA franchise, says the majority of the letters and phone calls he has received support Miss California and her statements on gay marriage…and beg for the next round of “Celebrity Apprentice” to be to the death.
Seattle police arrested a 24-year-old man who placed an ad on Craigslist stating he wanted to have sex with a woman then kill her. Then he explained the woman was Heidi Montag and they let him go.
Great Moments in Jest History (From The Jesting Archives): August 17, 2005 Madonna broke several bones when she was thrown from a horse. When asked how the riding accident happened, she replied, “Oh, I wasn’t riding it.”
New on the JTLJokes Blog (www.jtljokes.blogspot.com): Low on Lead – a :30 sweeps promo I wrote and produced for KAVU-TV. You can also find back issues of “Give Us This Day,” as well as original articles and videos.
