Janet Napolitano wants Americans to refer to “swine flu” as “H1N1 flu.” If only she’d been this worried about what she called veterans.
American pork plants are requiring workers to shower and change clothes in an attempt to contain swine flu. Kind of makes you hope there will be an outbreak of “cab driver flu.”
Senate Democrats urged a quick confirmation of Kathleen Sebelius as Health and Human Services Secretary so she can get started on the swine flu outbreak…even though her doctor apparently prefers to wait until the last minute.
Carnival Cruise has suspended stops to Mexico because of swine flu fears. They will instead take passengers to someplace safer, like Mogadishu.
Apple has stopped offering an iPhone game called “Baby Shaker,” where players try to silence a crying baby by vigorously shaking the device. Said Casey Anthony, “Oh, you were supposed to shake it? I thought you were supposed to douse it with chloroform, tape up its mouth, stuff it in a bag and bury it.”
A North Dakota woman is charged with breast-feeding her baby while drunk. Police became suspicious when the infant licked the back of his hand before feeding.
Great Moments in Jest History (From the Jesting Archives): August 15, 2005 Demi Moore says she and Ashton Kutcher want to “expand their family.” She thinks it’s important for Ashton to have playmates closer to his own age.
New on the JTLJokes Blog (www.jtljokes.blogspot.com): Simon for Sale, a :30 “Help Wanted” commercial I produced for KVCT/KMOL TV. You can also find back issues of “Give Us This Day,” as well as original articles and videos.
On a Personal Note: Was helping produce a live broadcast Monday night that ended up keeping me at work until 9pm. That’s why there was no Tuesday edition.
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