Janet Napolitano declared a national health emergency concerning swine flu. She’s warning all Americans to avoid travel to Mexico, pork products…and military veterans.
Two FBI workers are accused of using surveillance equipment to watch teenage girls try on prom dresses at a West Virginia mall. But in their defense, they thought they were watching J. Edgar Hoover’s old home movies.
The Supreme Court rejected a claim by a Texas death row inmate that his constitutional rights were violated because jurors consulted a Bible. This upholds a lower court ruling forcing him to build an ark.
Over 100 countries agreed on a U.N. declaration to combat racism and intolerance worldwide…unless that intolerance is aimed at Miss California.
President Obama is planning a third prime-time news conference on Wednesday. It will be followed by analysis from network reporters…and Simon, Paula and Randy.
Sixty of the 240 detainees at Gitmo cannot go back to their home countries because they face abuse, imprisonment or death. As opposed to staying at Gitmo, where they…oh, wait.
GM’s massive restructuring plan reportedly includes plant closures and changes to its eight brands. Also, no more throwing in the undercoating for free.
Great Moments in Jest History (From The Jesting Archives): August 15, 2005 A new survey shows Lucille Ball is America’s favorite dead celebrity. Coming in second? Jason Alexander.
Don’t forget the JTLJokes Blog, where you can find back issues of “Give Us This Day,” as well as original videos and articles. www.jtljokes.blogspot.com.
On a personal note: Lady Godiva was a freedom rider, she didn’t care if the whole world looked. Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her, she was a sister who really cooked. Isadora was the first bra burner and you’re glad she showed up. And when the country was falling apart, Betsy Ross got it all sewed up. And then there’s Maude.
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