Give Us This Day Our Daily Jest (February 20, 2009)

Police in New York say the beheading of a Muslim woman in her apartment has all the markings of an honor killing.  Or, as the Taliban calls it, “an amicable divorce.”

The owner of the chimpanzee that attacked a woman in Connecticut says he took baths and shared his bed with the animal.  When asked why, he said it was the closest he’d ever get to being Mr. Joy Behar.

A 9-year-old Arizona boy who killed his father and his father’s friend has been offered a plea deal that would keep him out of jail.  In a related story, the Menendez brothers are REDACTED.

Simon and Garfunkel reunited for the reopening of the Beacon Theater.  Paul Simon reportedly didn’t even know Art Garfunkel was there…until Art gave him his change.

A Utah man discovered 35 pounds of marijuana in the gas tank of the car he had just purchased.  Mechanics say it explains why the gas gauge was malfunctioning…and why Michael Phelps has been taking so many cabs lately.

Great Moments in Jest History (From The Jesting Archives): July 15, 2005

Senator Hillary Clinton says she sometimes feels Alfred E. Neuman is in charge of Washington.  Unlike when her husband was president and it felt like Larry Flynt was in charge.

Don’t forget the JTLJokes Blog, where you can find back issues of “Give Us This Day” as well as articles about current events.  JTLJokes.blogspot.com.

 

On a personal note: I cannot read minds.       

 

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