Give Us This Day Our Daily Jest: December 28, 2008
Hamas is vowing revenge for Israeli air strikes in Gaza “until the last drop of blood,” or at least until the Gaza City Home Depot runs out of nails and screws.
Rod Blagojevich told a reporter he was hired “to fight for the people of Illinois.” How does he do it? Volume, volume, volume!
New York Governor David Paterson has an “iPod tax” in his new state budget. He says he did it for the millions in revenue, but most think he’s just jealous of anything with an “i.”
Will Smith says he’s learned how to “flip off” his “joke switch.” Apparently he learned this right before he made “Men in Black II.”
John Brennan, the man expected to be Barack Obama’s pick for CIA Director, has withdrawn after criticism from left-wing bloggers. Probably a good thing, because it should take more than that to make your top spy crack.
A study by the Minnesota Star Tribune predicts Al Franken will win the Minnesota Senate recount by 78 votes…and will say, “Gosh darn it, people like me” in his acceptance speech.
Joe Biden says there was “no inappropriate contact” between the Obama team and Rod Blagojevich. Mostly because Blagojevich won’t take a check.
Someone built a 25-foot tall snowman dubbed “Snowzilla” in Anchorage despite a “cease and desist” order from the city. Police will ask Governor Palin to remove it, since she’s so good at bringing down towering figures.
Great Moments in Jest History (From The Jesting Archives):
December 27, 1945:
Twenty-eight nations have signed an agreement creating the World Bank. Each one received a toaster.