Hillary Clinton has been named Secretary of State. This will actually be good for national security. After all, that woman’s enemies have been known to disappear. It’ll also give a whole new meaning to the term Madam Secretary.
The Secretary of State, of course, is fourth in line to assume the presidency should anything happen to the chief executive. With the Clintons’ old cabinet already re-installed, Barack Obama and Joe Biden should watch their backs and never be in the same place at the same time. Or they’ll go the way of Vince Foster, Ron Brown and Buddy the dog.
Unemployment claims jumped to a 7-year high the week after Obama won the election. Not because of the slow economy, but because “Yes I Can” was added to the application as a valid reason.
Why did Barack Obama revive the Clinton administration? Because he didn’t feel black enough.
Michael Jackson has finally had his long-anticipated conversion to Islam. I guess it’s cheaper than a sex change:
Now he can molest children morally.
In the midst of her high-profile divorce from Guy Ritchie, and of her latest tour “Sticky and Sweet,” it has come out that Madonna believes she was divinely “chosen” to receive and relay messages to us from a higher spiritual plane.
One wonders what god’s deeper meaning behind “sticky and sweet” might be.
An Al Qaeda terrorist serving 18 years for his involvement in a plot to bomb London was taught how to be a stand-up comic at his top-security prison.
Evil Zia Ul Haq was enrolled in an eight-day “comedy workshop” at Whitemoor jail, along with murderers and rapists. The 18 cons were given lessons in stand-up, comic drama, improvisation and scriptwriting. Once they “graduated” they were due to get a certificate and display their new talents with a comedy show for fellow inmates and guards.
On Thursday Justice Secretary Jack Straw canned the “totally unacceptable” course. He also vetoed a plan by the Category A Cambridgeshire prison to set up its own comedy club.
I know comedians have anger issues, but this is ridiculous.
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