Supply-siders know that cutting taxes is the best way to raise revenue: lower taxes expand the economic pie, so even a smaller tax “slice” yields more. Substitute romance for revenues, and a similar dynamic applies to relationships. To get “more” from your man, give less.
Dear Malibu Rules Girl: My current boyfriend swept me off my feet when we began dating – he wanted to see me every day, told me he loved me within a month, and even started talking about our future. Six months later, he’s started to say things like “I don’t know if I’ll ever get married.” When I try to talk it out with him, and get to the root of his fear, he shuts down. He’s still attentive, but I now feel like I’m doing most of the “work” of the relationship, and getting less and less out of it. What should I do?
Dear Giving More & Getting Less: The quick answer is, whatever you are doing, do less. If you’ve been seeing him five days a week, cut back to two. If you were cooking him gourmet meals, substitute TV dinners. If you’ve been returning every call, try returning every other call. Start doing less, and most likely, he’ll start doing more.
If he initiated this relationship, then it can probably be salvaged, since he clearly demonstrated intense interest in the early stages. I suspect the problem is that you failed to pace the relationship. If you give in to a man’s every request – see them whenever he wants even last minute – then he will value you less, not more. Men must be conditioned to think that if they want to see you seven days a week, they have to marry you. Your best bet for walking down the aisle with this man someday would be to start taking a few steps away right now. Remember: do less, get more.