Republican women are in some ways over-achievers — they’re managing foreign policy, serving as governors, advising the presidential race and even snagging a spot on the top ticket. Republican women run companies, raise families, write bestsellers — there doesn’t seem to be anything they can’t do.
So why is it when it comes to dating, GOP girls are just as confused and frustrated as their Democratic counterparts? Conservative women at least know that much of the confusion resulted from the sexual revolution of the 60’s & 70’s, in which the restrictive social code constraining relations between the sexes was swept away.
Conservative women have another advantage — they just don’t know it.
You see, encoded in Republican principles are actually simple guidelines that can help steer women toward “the man who really, really loves you” (as my husband likes to call himself), and AWAY from those “candidates” who flip-flop on commitment, talk big but don’t deliver, and otherwise waste women’s time. I discovered this in my practice as a certified dating coach.
I was trained by Sherrie Schneider and Ellen Fein, authors of the best-selling, culture-shifting dating book The Rules, which spent weeks on the NYT bestseller list and has been translated into 27 languages.
While The Rules was vilified by some feminists as politically incorrect, old fashioned and antithetical to gender-equality, the authors were motivated by a The authors of The Rules have never commented on politics — or discussed their party affiliation (if any) — and the women I work with in my own practice are, if anything, Democratic, as are most women here in Southern California.
But since it’s more likely to be Republican women who flock to PoliticalMavens.com, and its Republican women whom I worked among in my decade-plus in politics, I thought I’d invite readers to send in their dating conundrums, and try to solve them using GOP principles. Here’s one for today:
PRINCIPLE: NO NEGOTIATION WITH TERRORISTS
While Obama berates the Bush administration for refusing to engage in talks with those who use terrorist tactics to advance their agenda, there’s something women in devastating, destructive relationships can learn from the President’s “No Contact” plan.
Dear Malibu Rules Girl: I’ve been dating the same guy, sort of, for two years. I really love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he says he’s not ready, and occasionally calls for a “time out” because he says he knows what I want and doesn’t want to hurt me. When I call to tell him I miss him, he comes over and a very passionate evening ensues. Afterwards, I’m doubly hurt when he still doesn’t want to make a commitment or stop seeing other people.
My question is this: we’ve been taking the same yoga class together for years. Is it okay for me to still go — show him what he’s missing? Just because he wants his “space” why should I be deprived of my favorite class?
Dear Limber & Lovelorn: Don’t go to that class, don’t call him, don’t return his calls, don’t see him, don’t have sex with him — no negotiating, no contact! I’m not saying this man is a terrorist, but when we are in love with a man who is not in love with us, the pain a woman feels, the toll on our self esteem, the precious time wasted never to be regained — this adds up to a massive emotional suicide bomb going off in our heart.
While we can certainly talk a man out of loving us, we cannot talk a man into loving us. Either he does — or he doesn’t — and if he’s not sure, the best time for him to discover his true feelings is when you’re no longer talking to him. Find another yoga class attended by lots of good-looking men — go to that one, sign-up for on-line dating, go to singles events, ask friends for set-ups, so the man who will love you can find you!
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