1 0    

Norbit

PG-13

Comedy

2/11

Stupid and rarely funny. At times pointlessly cruel, like critics say about Adam Sandler movies. Thandie Newton is pretty though.

9  

Hot Rod

PG-13

Comedy

8/7

Largely joke-free.

8     

The Hills Have Eyes 2

R

Horror

3/24

Color-by-numbers horror picture. The typical “dead teenagers” story. What a sudden and sorry cash-in end to a potentially great franchise.

7     

Reno 911! Miami

R

Comedy

2/24

Flabby. An overlong and indulgent (in terms of letting jokes run on sans payoff) version of the TV show.

6     

Beowulf

PG-13

Fantasy

11/28

Why shoot this with actors then overlay it with sketchy animation—so you don’t have to pay Angelina Jolie as much to go naked? Creepy skin textures, slow first hour; just a dull and pointless exercise.

5     

Captivity

R

Horror

7/15

Joyless, suspense-free. Unpleasant scenes and ideas and a pointless plot. Elisha Cuthbert has an unerring sense of crap, and she signs on to make it every time the opportunity presents itself.

4     

Saw IV

R

Horror

10/26

Carelessly and indecipherably plotted. I have absolutely no idea whatsoever what this was about—I mean, literally, no idea at all what happened.

3     

Crazy Eights (After Dark HorrorFest)

R

Horror

11/11

Under-storied, under-explained, over-shot, amateurish horror indie. Barely makes sense (a little more than Saw IV, but without the good-looking FX).

2     

Delta Farce

PG-13

Comedy

5/14

Poorly made C-movie. Junk from start to finish. Never funny and utterly formulaic. Even fans of Larry the Cable Guy won’t want to see him in this garbage.

1

(WORST) 

Hostel 2

R

Horror

6/8

If this picture wasn’t rated NC-17, no picture can be rated NC-17. Sexualized murder scene makes this the most irresponsible “artistic” effort I can recall. This sort of portrayal does violence to the soul and coarsens human emotion in a practical way by associating violence, death, and sadism with sex and orgasm. Director Eli Roth feels no obligation to humanity, obviously.