Stupid and rarely funny. At times pointlessly cruel, like critics say about Adam Sandler movies. Thandie Newton is pretty though.
The Hills Have Eyes 2
Color-by-numbers horror picture. The typical “dead teenagers” story. What a sudden and sorry cash-in end to a potentially great franchise.
Reno 911! Miami
Flabby. An overlong and indulgent (in terms of letting jokes run on sans payoff) version of the TV show.
Why shoot this with actors then overlay it with sketchy animation—so you don’t have to pay Angelina Jolie as much to go naked? Creepy skin textures, slow first hour; just a dull and pointless exercise.
Joyless, suspense-free. Unpleasant scenes and ideas and a pointless plot. Elisha Cuthbert has an unerring sense of crap, and she signs on to make it every time the opportunity presents itself.
Carelessly and indecipherably plotted. I have absolutely no idea whatsoever what this was about—I mean, literally, no idea at all what happened.
Crazy Eights (After Dark HorrorFest)
Under-storied, under-explained, over-shot, amateurish horror indie. Barely makes sense (a little more than Saw IV, but without the good-looking FX).
Poorly made C-movie. Junk from start to finish. Never funny and utterly formulaic. Even fans of Larry the Cable Guy won’t want to see him in this garbage.
If this picture wasn’t rated NC-17, no picture can be rated NC-17. Sexualized murder scene makes this the most irresponsible “artistic” effort I can recall. This sort of portrayal does violence to the soul and coarsens human emotion in a practical way by associating violence, death, and sadism with sex and orgasm. Director Eli Roth feels no obligation to humanity, obviously.
(Chart includes month and date I saw the picture and my original notes after seeing it.)
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