After the Big Kahuna of Florida, former New York Mayor Giuliani is bidding the campaign adieu. Former Senator John Edwards said “adios” today too. Former Senator Fred Thompson bid us farewell a short time ago, as did Senators Chris Dodd and Joe Biden and a host of other lesser lights. There are still a few hangers-on, like former Governor Mike Huckabee and the omnipresent Congressman Ron Paul.
But we are essentially left with a pair of Kings in one hand and a King and a Queen in the other.
This is Survivor, American Idol, The Apprentice, and the Amazing Race all rolled into one. Who will get voted off the continent next?
The two Republicans left standing, Senator John McCain and former Governor Mitt Romney, are going for the jugular. Accusations of flip-flopping and “liberalism” are flying faster than the lamps at Chez Clinton. McCain has the Big Mo and has opened up substantial leads in most of the Super Tuesday states. Romney still has a lot of money and the “fire in the belly” to win. He’s also got the conservatives.
The two Democrats left standing, Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, are going full-tilt scorched earth. Obama said today that Hillree is “divisive.” Talk about stating the obvious. Hillree, meanwhile, whined that Obama blew her off during the State of the Union. I suppose just like she blew him off in the Senate last year after it broke that he was going to challenge her hereditary monarchy.
By the way, will someone please tell her to stop with that crazy smile? She looks like Kathleen Turner in “Serial Mom.”
After they all finish strangling each other, one on each side will get pulled into their nominations by the Jaws of Life.
There are no Sanjayas in this race. McCain is Kelly Clarkson: tough. Romney is Carrie Underwood: dignified. Hillree is Omorosa: cutthroat. And Obama is Ruben Studdard: velvet.
They’re all singing for their supper. And they all hope they won’t end up like Richard Hatch.
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