Is it just me, or is the field of candidates for the Republican nomination reminiscent of the dating scene?

First there’s Huckabee, the guy you feel obligated to give a chance because he’s just so nice. But like the Mr. Nice Guy who’s so busy volunteering his time with troubled youth that he forgets he promised his girlfriend dinner at Balthazar, you get the sense he might not prioritize the needs and interests of law-abiding people—including yours–ahead of those of criminals.

Then there’s Ron Paul. He’s the nerdy guy who reminds you of every brainy slacker who ever wasted your time in college, with his mid-afternoon or late-night ruminations on Ayn Rand. He calls you incessantly and pesters you to go out with him until finally you succumb out of a combination of pity and fatigue. Your thought process is something like, “He’s so nerdy, he’s gotta be nice/smart/interesting.” Then one day you realize that most of his conversation revolves around complaining and disparaging other people. In other words, not only is he a loser, he’s not all that nice, after all.

But how about John McCain? He is the highly accomplished older gentleman with plenty of character. You admire him, and his unique biography, success, goodness, manliness, and maverick charm make him hot. You could do a lot worse than this guy, and you know it. But somehow, the timing feels off – he’s lived a life and a half, and you need a man you can grow with. Face it honey, he’s too old for you.

Along then comes Mitt Romney. He is the handsome, intelligent Alpha male, the buttoned-up master-of-the universe type. He’s got the chiseled features, the flawless hair, the degrees from top schools, the high-powered career. He’s the right age for you, and he wants to get serious. You’re so flattered when he pursues you that it takes you a while to realize the unfortunate truth that the guy just doesn’t turn you on. He’s too cold, plastic, and perfect. To quote the immortal Samantha of “Sex and the City” (to be read with a sorrowful expression): “Oh, honey, it’s a shame. Good on paper - bad in bed!”

At last, along comes a special New Yorker. A little brash on the outside, maybe even a little rough around the edges, but a gentleman nonetheless. He is passionate, driven, and brave – and you can see in his eyes his principled spirit and beautiful soul. He’ll give his whole self, hold nothing back, and bring out the best in you. Over time you realize he is one of the most brilliant, honest men you’ve ever encountered. He’ll fight for you, and you can count on him through thick and thin. Oh, and he’s funny off the cuff. He’s Rudy! And he’s The One.  

 

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