Yes, the United Nations has partnered with Marvel to produce a comic book that shows classic characters such as Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four fighting alongside blue-hatted peacekeepers and humanitarian workers. Poor, hapless schoolchildren will then receive the superhero rag. In my Los Angeles Daily News column this week, I decided to offer up a script for the comic:
“It’s a dark and stormy day at Turtle Bay. Super Ban huddles with his advisers. ‘The world is so evil, Super Ban,’ one dejectedly says. ‘Whatever can we do to strike at the heart of it?’
Super Ban sighs. ‘There is only one thing to do. Call in … the Human Rights Council!’ Da-DUM!
FLASH! The Human Rights Council emerges from a whirlwind. ‘We know how to spot evil!’ declares the Cuban Conquistador. ‘We know human rights!’ echoes the Saudi Swashbuckler. ‘It takes one to know one!’ pipes up the Angola Avenger, eliciting a growl from the Russian Ruffian.
‘I leave you to find the source of this world’s evil!’ Super Ban commands as he flies away.
‘That is easy,’ the Egyptian Eidolon grins, as several of the HRC members declare in unison, ‘EVIL ISRAEL!’
‘The Israelis have thwarted Martyr Man with that big wall long enough!’ cries one.
‘Don’t forget Evil Uncle Sam!’ bellows another.
The Qatar Quixote rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t you know that Israel is easier to pick on?’
The HRC squad nods in agreement. They might not be able to vanquish a superpower superhero of the Fantastic Quartet.
‘What about Sudan?’ an HRC member meekly offers. ‘Aren’t they actually REALLY evil?’
‘Very well,’ groans a comrade. ‘We’ll issue a statement expressing our deep concern about that.’
The others nod eagerly.
‘But back to Evil Israel - let’s pass more resolutions condemning the Jewish state than ANY other country in the world!!’ Mad cheering. ‘Let’s make Evil Israel a permanent agenda item!’ Wild applause. ‘Let’s let everybody else OFF the hook and obsessively fixate on Evil Israel!!’ Triumphant hollers…”