Right now the biggest problem faced by the Democrats is what to do with John Kerry. After the recent snafu they’re no doubt planning to keep him out of sight and under wraps until after the election. Not the mid term election. The presidential election. Of 2016.
Kerry’s stock, which was none too high, has plummeted faster than you can say “Dixie Chicks.” Thus, I offer the following suggestions for keeping Kerry completely out of the spotlight:
Lock Kerry inside the same tank where the Democrats keep Mike Dukakis.
Tell Kerry his wife has suddenly gone broke but there’s a family in Brunei pondering putting him in the will.
Tell Kerry he won first place in the “Tell A Joke Badly” contest, and he has to go to Outer Siberia to collect his prize.
Tie Kerry to a wind surf-board pointed at the Carribbean before the next hurricane hits Florida.
Name him the vice presidential nominee.
Tell him Madonna is wealthier than Teresa and if Kerry moves to Malawi the Material Girl may adopt him.
Maybe silencing Kerry, who tells a joke almost as well as Al Gore dances, will teach him a valuable lesson… C’mon, it’s possible.
Have PoliticalMavens.com delivered to your inbox in a daily digest by clicking here