Some pundits say that Mitt Romney cannot win the Presidency in 2008 because he is Mormon. I believe that his victory in Massachusetts proves he can win anywhere. The only commonality between Mormons and Massachusetts is mutual disappointment that “Pistol” Pete Maravich was past his prime when playing for the Utah Jazz and Boston Celtics. This makes me wonder why Romney ran for Governor of Massachusetts in the first place. I have four theories:
Mitt Romney believed that Massachusetts was a haven for Mormonism because of a misconception about American history. He thought the Boston Tea Party was a group of Mormons rebelling against caffeinated drinks.
Romney thought fellow Mormons Donny and Marie wrote “A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock and Roll” because of their love of Massachusetts. He believed this since WKLB Radio in Boston makes the state “a little bit country”, while the last few Aerosmith albums were only “a little bit rock and roll”.
He believed New Englanders frequent use of the word “wicked” was due to their strong desire to distinguish good and evil, which is a hallmark of Social Conservatism.
Romney figured that even if he were the only Mormon in the state, he would never look more out of place than former Massachusetts Governor Dukakis riding in a tank.
The other question I struggle with is how Mitt Romney actually got elected as Governor. My theory is that the voters were confused about the acronym LDS. Instead of Latter Day Saint, they believed LDS stood for Liberal Democrat Spendthrift, and therefore Romney would be just like Senators Kennedy and Kerry.
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